Evening Personalities Lampoon Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Immigration Plan

Late-night's leading hosts devoted their airtime criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's just announced immigration initiative, dubbed the "golden visa," describing it as a clear cash-for-residency scheme for the wealthy.

The Late Show's Pointed Spin

Starting his program, Stephen Colbert delivered a mock Christmas tune directed at the president. "He is compiling a list, checking it twice, before handing that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... destroys all he comes into contact with."

The subject was the new initiative that allows international nationals to acquire U.S. legal status for the price of a million dollars, or "top-tier" version for $5 million. A government website pledges approval "in record time."

"A quick thought here to affluent foreigners: before you fork over the cash, what about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He explained that the program is also meant to "get cash" from firms looking to hire skilled workers, with hefty costs. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you additionally get two free nights at a property of your choice – as long as it's the that one hotel," he continued.

"The best vetting the U.S. government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants completely qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert responded. "Question one: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "American Dream Express Card."

"This is a card that will allow affluent overseas citizens to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your selection."

"It might be time to change that message on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your tired masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel teased the simplicity of the form, observing it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"Indeed, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Economic Struggles

On another network, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's plunging approval numbers during economic worries. "People gave Donald Trump a another term since they were upset about the economy," he noted.

This week, in a bid to address prices, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a array of food items, where he behaved strangely to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"He is so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by criticizing right-leaning media arguments of Trump's financial record. "Perhaps instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he laughed.